HALLOWEEN Co-Parenting Do's and Don'ts:
Tricks for Treats and How to Avoid the Ghooooosts
of Baaaaad Decisiooons.
As an attorney practicing family law whose resting jerk face could rival THE MONSTER IN Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, I have seen more than my share of torches blazing their way up the windy path to the courthouse. Over the years, I have practiced family law across two states, five cities, and countless counties. And in every case, one truth remains painfully clear: there is always one guaranteed loser in heated custody battles—the children.
Much like Shelley’s misunderstood monster, I may seem tough on the outside, but I genuinely long for parents to find common ground for the sake of their children. If I had my way, my services would become as obsolete as a lamp lighter, replaced by a brighter future of cooperative co-parenting.
I know that navigating co-parenting is painstaking work and extremely difficult. When I remember to use it, a little humor has gone a long way in tense disputes, and I believe that a few good-bad puns (or in the case of this blog-post a heck of a lot of bad-bad puns) can lighten even the most haunted hearts.
So, with a dose of practical advice and a touch of maniacal laughter, I present these tips to help ease the stress of co-parenting during the spookiest season of all—because when it comes to co-parenting, a ghoulishly good relationship is the ultimate treat, not a trick!
Parenting Do’s: Crafting a Drama-Free Present and a Boo-tiful Future
1. Do not Get Spooked by Drafts: Stick to Signed Orders to Avoid Frightful Mistakes:
When it comes to co-parenting and holiday schedules, do not get tricked by spooky surprises! Always rely on the official, signed parenting orders to avoid any haunting mix-ups. Drafts are like ghosts of the past—they may have changed and could come back to haunt you with outdated information or missing details. Instead of chasing shadows, make sure you pull the final orders that have been filed and entered by the clerk of courts. This ensures you are working with rock-solid terms, keeping you out of sticky situations and ensuring both parents stay on the same (spell)book!
2. Do Avoid Frights: Communicate Early and Clearly:
Planning ahead is the magic spell for a smooth holiday season! Discuss holiday schedules, activities, and any special traditions well in advance to keep things running as sweetly as candy corn. Clear communication ensures both parents are on the same page, avoiding any spooky, last-minute surprises that could lead to conflict.
3. Do Prioritize the Boos and Ooohs: Make Your Child’s Experience a Thriller:
Always keep your child(ren)’s happiness at the apple core of your plans. Chat about what makes their Halloween truly spook-tacular, and brew up a plan together to make it happen—even if it means sacrificing some of your own ghoulish preferences. A little compromise now will keep the holiday from turning into a fright fest later!
4. Do Be Sweet and Stretchy: Like Taffy, Stay Flexible:
Life has its twists and turns, much like a corn maze, and sometimes plans need a little reshuffling. Be ready to go with the glow of the jack-o’-lanterns if things need to change. Flexibility, when handled with mutual respect, can ward off any brewing conflicts and help create a smoother, more harmonious co-parenting experience—no tricks, just treats!
5. Do Share the Magic: Celebrate Special Moments Together (If Possible):
If you and your co-parent get along well, why not team up for some Halloween magic? Attending a school event or a spooky parade together shows your child that both parents are still creeping along the same path, even after separation. It’s a wicked good way to show you’re both committed to making the holiday special—double the treats, double the love! Or, consider dividing and conjuring—splitting the night may be the way to ghost!!
6. Do Avoid Frights: Communicate Early and Clearly:
If splitting time feels like too much of a fright, consider alternating years. One parent can have Halloween this year, while the other gets to scare up some fun next year. During off-years, the non-Halloween parent can plan another fang-tastic fall activity, like a pumpkin carving night or a haunted house visit. That way, the fun never takes a ghostly pause!”
Parenting Don’ts: Dodge Spooky Slip-Ups this Halloween!
1. Don’t Ghost the Other Parent: Avoid Going Radio Silent!
Nothing stirs up trouble faster than dropping off the radar when it’s time to make holiday plans. Leaving the other parent in the dark is a surefire way to invite some haunting misunderstandings. Make sure you communicate clearly and consistently—keeping your co-parent in the loop is the best way to keep those Halloween plans from turning into a Nightmare on Elm Street.
2. Don’t Be a Mummy—All Wrapped Up in Your Own Plans!:
Don’t wrap yourself in your own agenda and forget to think about what your child(ren) might want. Halloween is all about the boos and the oohs, not whose plans win out. Avoid insisting on your way or the highway—your child(ren)’s Halloween should be about making memories, not unwrapping mummy-level drama.
3. Don’t Witch and Moan: Avoid Complaints in Front of the Kids!:
Nobody likes a party pooper, especially when you’re dressed as one for Halloween. Don’t let your disagreements with your co-parent bubble up in front of the children—it can kill the fun faster than a vampire at a blood drive. Keep your witching to a minimum and save any issues for private conversations, far from little ears of corn.
4. Don’t Be a Control Freak—Let the Kids Have a Ghoul Time!:
Controlling every aspect of the holiday will leave everyone howling for the wrong reasons. Halloween is about letting loose and having fun, so resist the urge to dictate every costume, every activity, and every candy choice. Give your Child(ren) the freedom to wreak some playful havoc and own the Halloween chaos!
5. Don’t Play Tricks: Stick to the Plan!:
When it comes to co-parenting and being child focused, Halloween is about fun, not surprises—unless you want to plant the kind of fear that even therapy can’t exorcise. Don’t suddenly swap times, change pickup locations, or throw in unexpected changes. Stick to the agreed-upon plan, or communicate any necessary changes ahead of time. Nothing can spook a co-parenting dynamic like a last-minute switcheroo.
6. Don’t Turn into a Pumpkin—Don’t Forget to Be Punctual!:
Running late may not seem like a big deal, but showing up late to exchanges or events can turn a magical night into a monster mashup of frustration. Respect the clock like Cinderella, and make sure you don’t turn the night into a pumpkin by keeping everyone waiting.
Written by: Samuel Patry
Approaching 17 years of practice, Samuel D. Patry began to limit his law practice to matters related to family law in 2015, after gaining valuable experience in the areas of small business representation, commercial litigation, and estate planning.
This comprehensive experience coupled with Samuel’s passion for litigation have not only provided him an advantage in sophisticated family law litigation involving businesses and complex assets, but having begun his career as a prosecutor and serving on an inter-agency Child Abuse Response Team Samuel developed the discretion, empathy, and grit to handle even the most contentious custody disputes.
Licensed in Ohio and Kentucky Samuel heads Barrow Brown Carrington, PLLC’s Cincinnati office and serves Cincinnati and the surrounding areas. Samuel also accepts select cases in Northern Kentucky and other areas of Ohio.
Learn more about Samuel here.
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